Updates
Hey again everybody,
Well, I guess since I have a bit more time, or feel like I do, I’ll update you all on my life.
Today I feel pretty good, at least right now. I don’t feel like the end of the world is nigh. I know my job situation worsens as the days continue, but I do feel a bit more uplifted and like I can actually accomplish some things today — I feel like I have regained some focus. I’ve done a few things already today so I feel pretty good already about that.
I will say, though, that I’m having a hard time to focus on larger tasks. I know that it’s just a matter of sitting down and doing these things one step at a time, but it’s still rather daunting. Introspectively, I find this behavior rather odd; in the past, I had far fewer issues breaking down large projects into smaller items and completing them without this feeling of dread. I want to remove these feelings of dread, and today I feel I can at least partially accomplish this goal. So, I guess that’s a good thing.
On another related subject, speaking with my brother is quite possibly my favourite activity because of just how good he is at calming me down. I think he gets that a lot from my mom, actually, so I’m rather grateful he got that passed down from her along with my dad’s calmness. I feel bad by how much I speak of myself with him but I know he’s there for me and would tell me otherwise. So, I’ll begin today’s events by first simply stating how fantastic a person he is. As rappers would put it, “Word, bro!”. (I’ve just immediately made this paragraph cheesy)
Today, contrary to my usual behavior, I had the pleasure to listen to some of the stuff that’s worrying him lately. I feel for him because it seems similar in nature to some of my own issues and I feel bad he’s in that state (today), but at the same time it’s regretfully a little uplifting because it also means I’m really not the only one who’s feeling kind of down. In his case it’s only today, but still, it shows that everybody has their ups and downs.
Similarly, a few of my friends have also expressed some of the same issues I have, though with mitigated symptoms of woe. I’m starting to feel like this observation should be a key learning I should make from all of this — not that everybody’s life is always crap or unhappy (that is too negative and cynical, and I need to stop doing that), but that life changes a lot for everybody, and that a major key to success and happiness is to adapt to these rather than to make it a source of burden. I give my utmost respect to those of you who’ve spoken to me regarding my anxieties about your thoughts on the same subjects, and hope that I successfully glean some of your attitudes into my own so that I too can get better at adapting to changes and embracing them rather than being challenged by them.
Switching paths almost entirely, I had my annual physical today, which mostly went well. The only reported point that was made is that my blood platelet level is low, as it has been with most of my other check-ups (not by a very large margin, but less than 150K). However, I have come to see this observation as potentially good; the reason I am a bit more optimistic is due to the subsequent investigation I made regarding potential symptoms of this diagnosis. I found out that there is a possible correlation to my mood and a few other symptoms I’ve had to low blood platelet levels. So, I called my doctor’s office and will hopefully get to talk to him about these results and see if perhaps I can test my hypothesis that this correlation is accurate and that some of my feelings of fear and uncertainty will subside. I won’t bet on it, but that would be nice! Even if it doesn’t, working on it would still be a good thing.
Anyway, I have a list of things I want to do today, and it isn’t being crossed off. I’m going to get my headphones, get some music going, and get to work.
Ta ta for now!
